A week ago Sunday I was packing for a solo vacation and dreaming of my responsibility-free alone time. I had my sunglasses, a bottle of water, my favorite bag and I was ready to go! I went to the backyard to say my goodbyes to the kids and OB when my vacay dreams were stopped dead in their tracks. “I wanna come!” yelled LB. PR chimed in with an, “I wanna come too, Mama!” Dreams – dashed! “What do you mean you want to come with me? You’re out here having fun with Daddy. Isn’t it more fun to be able to play outside than come with Mama to the grocery store?” Oh yeah, did I say vacation? I meant that I was going to the grocery store. Alone. No kids. Not even one kid. Or a husband that wants to rush me through the aisles and doesn’t understand my need to read every single ingredient and nutrition fact or to look over each and every fruit and vegetable, selecting what I have deemed to be the perfect ones. Alone. Did I mention alone?
“There’s too many flies out here!” PR pleaded with me. “Yeah, the flies are gonna get us!” added LB. We’ve been having a lot of little black flies lately that do like to bite the girls and their bites are nasty. They end up with all sorts of bleeding bite marks all over the backs of their necks and in their hairlines. “How ’bout I put some bug stuff on you girls and you stay here keeping Daddy company while I do a quick grocery trip?” Really, I don’t get out much. A grocery shopping trip on my own had sounded pretty good. BUT, like with everything else in life, I’m a mom first. We went back into the house to wash hands, get whatever they thought they needed for the five minute car ride (which usually consists of no less than one blanket and three stuffed animals – each!), hit up the potty and within three short hours, we were ready to go! Ok, so it wasn’t really three hours, but it felt like it.
It had been a few months since I’d ventured out on a full-scale grocery shopping trip with both of them. I was kind of scarred by the puking incident, so LB and I had become shopping partners, just the two of us. As we walked into the store, one of the employees tried to pull out a cart for me and I tried my best not to give him an are-you-crazy-I-can’t-use-a-regular-cart-with-these-two look, as I shook my head and kept walking towards the super-sized carts that have a bench for two attached. Side note: you should probably have to hold a special type of license to drive these things because they are incredibly heavy and basically impossible to steer. It took the same amount of time to buckle the two of them in as it did for one of them to decide that they’d had enough and was ready to come out. In typical LB style, she wanted out of the cart by the time we got to the deli. I was able to convince her to get into the sling, saying that it was the comfiest place to eat cheese and cookies undisturbed. And yes, I am now one of those moms that takes advantage of getting a piece of cheese at the deli and a cookie from the bakery for the kids. I think I would have thought that was weird before having kids, but now these things are a necessity for us all to get out of there alive!
And we did all make it out alive. I even managed to get LB to stay put in the sling for the entire rest of the trip until we made it back to the car. Other than a few instances of PR reaching out and grabbing things off of shelves, the trip went quite smoothly. I even had a half of a second to glance at the gossip mags and catch up on my pop culture for the week. I think I learned something about Beyonce and the Kardashians, Jennifer Aniston, Brangelina… The girls were rewarded for their valiant efforts with a family frozen yogurt trip later that afternoon. I do have hopes for venturing out on my own someday soon to get a haircut because it’s been over a year and my split ends have split ends, but I guess I’ll wait for fly season to be over so that I won’t have to add any last minute passengers to my itinerary.