Five

My fifth wedding anniversary was yesterday {May 2, 2009} and all week long I’ve been trying to think about what I would write about it. I thought I might just do a straight up photo bomb because…

The Dress

The Bridal Party

wedding 1

The Details

bouquetcake

centerpeice 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And Of Course The Groom

married

But instead of just bombarding all of you with photos of my wedding day, I decided to talk about marriage. Real life, real talk about marriage and how we have grown, been challenged and have changed over the past five years. Growing together, growing apart, growing as a couple, growing as parents and growing our family.

First of all, let’s just get this right out there: marriage is hard work. Our first year of marriage was a whirlwind of change. Shortly after we got back from our honeymoon, I was promoted and took on a job with a lot more responsibility and many more challenges than I had previously been dealing with. Just about five months after our wedding, we decided to start looking for a house to buy and then we found out we were pregnant. House hunting was fun at first, but after three problematic home inspections and having a house that I had my heart set on be sold out from under us while we were under a signed agreement, we were getting really nervous that we wouldn’t be settled in a place before my growing baby bump turned into a growing baby. Not to mention that as one of my job perks, we had been living rent and utility free for the past few years and we were about to increase our monthly expenses by a billion percent. Tension and stress levels were running at an all-time high. We were spending practically all of our free time touring houses, searching online for new listings and talking to our realtor on the phone, who we were certain wanted to ditch us and find someone else with better luck. We would fight about what was most important: location, size, acreage, closet space, garage/no garage, price, you name it. What had started out as an adventure had become a tedious chore; a requirement with a hard deadline. Our baby was due on July 11th and we felt like June 1st was the absolute latest we were comfortable with for a closing date. Everything ended up working out and we closed on our house on May 18th which gave us just over two months before Baby Princess Rapunzel arrived on July 21, 2010.

Year two of marriage was all about adjusting and changing; learning how to juggle parenthood and our partnership. We had been two for so long. Just us two for the last eight years. Two people who could jump in the car and take a drive on a Sunday without even knowing where we were headed or where we’d end up. Now we were three. Nothing could possibly have changed our relationship more than the overnight transition from couple to family. Evolving from wife to mother, husband to father, but still preserving the fact that we were first a husband and wife team. It had suddenly become so easy to forget about that relationship and bond while we were learning how to be the parents that we’d become. Life quickly turned into around the clock nursing, diaper changing and baby soothing. While there was absolutely a lot of joy and great memories, there were also really hard times. I’d look forward to daddy getting home from work just so that I could jump in the shower, not so that I could share my day with him. Warm meals became a thing of the past, as baby PR would often be cranky and sometimes inconsolable from about 5pm to 9pm. We were often focusing all of our attention on her and none on each other. We had changed so much so quickly from our pre-baby selves that we barely knew each other and didn’t realize that we needed to take time to focus on our relationship. I remember sometimes feeling isolated, just me and baby, and I was failing to communicate with my husband who I should have been leaning on for support. There were definitely fights and feelings of resentment coming from both sides. Sometimes our only communication with each other was through arguing. I can’t really pinpoint how we got out of this, but slowly with time we did begin to figure it out. And within a few weeks of our second anniversary, we found out that we were expecting baby number two.

We went into year three of marriage with a clarity that we hadn’t had since we’d left the hospital as a family of three. Seeing those two pink lines again had jolted us back to the realization that we had started this life together based on our love for each other. Whatever challenges we’d been having before didn’t matter anymore. We had loved each other first, we loved the baby that we had, and we loved the baby that was on the way. Baby Little Boo was born on December 17, 2011 and we’d become a family of four by Christmas. This time around we did a much better job of leaning on each other as we figured out how to juggle a newborn and a one and a half year old. We made it a point to spend time together each night as often as we could, nothing fancy, just the two of us and the DVR (and a sleeping baby on one of our chests). The rest of the year pretty much went by in a blur. A happy and hectic blur of a running, jumping, dancing and talking toddler and a newborn that was developing a personality of her own. And of course the two of us wondering what had happened and when we had officially become grownups.

Year four was the first year that we didn’t experience any major life changes inside of our own four walls. We’d gotten a hang of this parenting thing and we’d gained respect for one another as we recognized and acknowledged how we’d changed and grown as parents. Of course there were ups and downs, stress at work, sorrow over loss of loved ones, but mostly we sat back and watched these two little blessings that were becoming so independent and blossoming into best friends. These two wouldn’t be here without us two and how lucky were we to have been chosen as their parents! Communication with each other was still something that we continued working on every day because we realized that it was sometimes easiest to let sheer exhaustion take over and share the least with the one person you share your life with.

Yesterday marked the beginning of our fifth year as a married couple. We celebrated at home with takeout dinner and a movie after the kids went to bed. I still can’t believe that five years have gone by. So much has changed, but what has stayed the same is the foundation on which we built it all. Our love, our friendship, our relationship is strong and even though life is never easy, we can always count on each other. And after all, real life isn’t just a series of pretty pictures.

wedding 3

OB ~ I do love him so!

11 thoughts on “Five

    • Thank you so much! That means a lot because I spent an eternity planning every detail! If I could relive one day in my life, that would be the one. So much anticipation and planning that’s all over in a few hours. It was a great party that’s for sure!

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