Drama From A Mama

In order to prevent anyone from having the false impression that I have it all together just because I am never more than an hour late for work and always make it in with mascara and a ponytail, am an expert on all things Bravo and am basically a professional cooker of pot roast, today I am going to share with you some TERRIBLE things that are happening to me right now so that you can know in your hearts that I am just another normal human being. Rest assured that I am writing this from my living room which is in a state of disaster. Toys are everywhere and I’m probably sitting on a princess as we speak. Plus, the internets seem to love their drama. I’m sure everyone gets those facebook updates in their newsfeed. You all know what I mean. It could be a cryptic “FML” or maybe a lashing out against an unnamed person that is now “dead to them” and probably was never even a “true friend”. These status updates typically spur a frenzy of comments with people rushing to provide either a smiley face or a {{hugs}}. So here we go. I’m getting dramatic on you. Right here! Right now!

Drama #1 – Contact Confusion

My insurance covers four boxes of contacts for me every year, so in January I picked up my four boxes as usual and went on with my year. It all went awry when I went to get myself a new pair of contacts out of the new boxes and realized that my eye doctor didn’t label the boxes! Who would do such a thing? I spent some time in the bathroom taking turns closing one eye after the other, trying to determine which one needed the stronger prescription, but ultimately I still had no idea. After switching the contacts back and forth between eyes for at least twenty minutes between wiping little butts and brushing little teeth, I finally was certain that I had it right and marked the boxes so as to prevent this dilemma from happening again. I’m such a smart girl! So… I recently used the last contacts out of those first two boxes and threw them away, only to realize that I hadn’t marked the last two boxes and had no idea which ended up being which as I looked at -1.00/-1.75/130 and -1.50/-1.25/90… what does this all mean? I mean, other than the fact that I’m blind? There I was again, two days ago, eye testing myself in the bathroom, switching the contacts back and forth and blinking a lot until I finally decided that it was good enough to drive. I guess I’ll give my eye doctor one more chance and if this happens again, I’ll know that it’s time to take my business elsewhere!

Drama #2 – Pants Problems

I officially can’t buy Little Boo pants, shorts or skirts from any kids’ clothing stores. Her weight falls into the 12 month size range, but her height puts her into the 3T size range. Fun! It turns out that stores don’t make clothes that would fit a yard stick the width of a bagel. Who knew? Thankfully, my friend Jennifer at Rhinestones and Tutus makes the most adorable clothes and is an expert at fitting LB. If it wasn’t for her, we’d be trying to make the T-shirt-and-diaper-sans-pants look a trend.

Drama #3 – The Wretched Radio 

Now I know that I am in the dark ages because I still listen to the regular radio. I’m pretty sure that modern people listen to satellite radio or have MP3 players in their cars, but I do not. I listen to the good old fashioned radio on my commute to and from work. There is nothing worse than changing the station because a terrible song has come on, only to find that same song playing on your next preset station. What the heck is that? Now, can we talk about the song Say Something (I’m Giving Up On You)? Why does this song plummet me into depression from the very first note? It’s like everything around me goes still and silent and all I can do is try to figure out who is giving up on who. And why? They don’t seem like they want to give up on each other. Can they work it out? And why when it ends, does it get followed by something that immediately shoots me back up to the top of the emotional roller coaster (think Girls Just Want To Have Fun or I Gotta Feeling)? By the time that I get to work, I really don’t know how I’m supposed to feel. And I don’t know if my vision is blurry from tears brought on by that song, or because I still don’t have my contacts in the correct eyes. Should I just call the eye doctor and ask?? Nah…

Drama #4 – Dirty Hair Dilemma

My kids have a lot of hair. I don’t have a lot of time. Therefore, I wash their hair every other night. They love to drive me crazy by constantly twirling their clean hair in their dirty, food-covered paws. I can’t even tell you how many times I have to ask them to keep their hands out of their hair at dinnertime. I try to make sure that their hair is pulled back and not easily accessible when they are eating, but they still find a way. I’m about three crumbs and a yogurt covered curl away from putting hair nets on them while they eat.

Drama #5 – GMOs

I don’t really have anything specific to say on this subject, but I do want GMOs to know that they are bothering me.

So there you have it – drama, drama, drama. I hope that you can even stand all that realness on one screen. Feel free to share anything terrible that is happening to you right now in the comments below. Together, we can probably work through it. As long as we keep the radio off and don’t eat anything made with corn.

Evidence - I'm not perfect

Evidence – I’m not perfect

 

 

9 thoughts on “Drama From A Mama

    • No Hello Kitty on your floor??!! Haha! Every time I clean up, they just throw everything back on the floor. Since I have no company scheduled to come over, it will remain like this a little longer. But you should see it when we have a play date here and it’s not a mom friend of mine. I’ll stay up all night cleaning so they don’t get to see what it’s really like!

      • No hello kitty, i got spongebob, mickey mouse, and about five million other toys though. i didnt clean as well as i usually do last night, so this morning i woke up with part of a simply caramel milky way stuck in my hair. Ugh i was so mad, i went to fuss at my kids andd stepped on my 4 year olds toy gun it broke and cut my toe open. Finally i had to just go to the bathroom and cry for a couple minutes . Then i was fine and was able to start my day.

  1. I listen to the radio in the car as well.. I find that it is far too much trouble to plug my phone in for any drive that’s less than 20 minutes. Sometimes even that. I have to conserve my energy.
    Realizing the same song is on two stations– I’ve tried to tweet about how terrible this is, but I’ve never had the words. You surpass me in describing this phenomenon. The song I can’t stand right now is that “happy” song. It makes me so incredibly angry, like he’s rubbing it in my face. Aaaaand I think I need to write a post about it.

    • Please do write a post on this! The song really is quite a phenomenom. He’s singing about how happy he is, but in reality, he’s doing nothing but provoking hate and loathing from the masses. Or from me and you. Either way it is most defintely post-worthy.
      The flip side is that I am perfectly content to hear Lorde “Teams” at least four times on my ride home and not bat an eye.

  2. I am lucky in that my eyesight is exactly equally bad in both eyes. I am weirdly symmetrical like that. I get cavities in the exact same places on both sides too.

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