How to be sure that you married the right person

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering if you married the right person, just follow these easy steps to ensure that you did!

1. Go to work on a day that there will be a snowstorm and your commute home is sure to be full of danger and treachery.

2. Does your husband call you in the afternoon to warn you of the aforementioned treachery and encourage you to get on your way quickly? If yes, proceed to the next question. If no, you may have married the wrong person {sorry}.

3. Realize that you have made a major mistake by even going to work at all that day, curse the British woman who speaks to you through your GPS for telling you about “severe traffic ahead”, and resign yourself to taking the longest way home because, according to Marry Poppins, it has the least amount of “severe traffic”. On the bright side, it passes by your husband’s office.

4. Once you are 1/4 away mile from your husband’s office, call him and tell him where you are and see if you can follow him so that you don’t feel so alone in the snowpocalypse. Does he tell you he’ll wait for you? If yes, you are still in good shape. If no, look into whether or not you are still eligible for annulment.

5. Half an hour later, when you finally make it to your husband who not only waited all this time for you, but actually turned around and went back because he had already left, you guys head out into the storm together like a tiny parade of mid-sized SUVs and brave the rest of the way home.

6. You have now been in the car for almost two hours, are completely frazzled and your knuckles might just explode from gripping the wheel so tightly. This results in you driving inexplicable slowly because you feel that certain death or crashing is in your immediate future. Does your husband slow down and even pull over at times when people get in between you to ensure that you are safely in his rear view mirror? If yes, keep on keepin on. If no, well, you’re already in dire times on this commute, so I won’t even complete the thought.

7. When the snow starts to come down even harder and your windshield is covered in ice and slush and you literally can’t see out of it, you somehow manage to fumble for your phone and call him while you are trying to make out his taillights and hoping that you are still driving on the correct side of the road. Does he pull over and clean your windshield for you? (An important note: When you can’t see out of your windshield, I don’t recommend crying. Because then you won’t be able to see out of your eyes.) If yes, you have a keeper. If no…

8. Three hours after you left work in the first place, you both finally make it home. But not before you have to stop the cars again because there is a van stuck in the road and your husband has gotten out to push it. Anyhow, you have made it home alive! He will give you a big hug and you will know that you married the right person.


I couldn’t see out of the windshield…

12 thoughts on “How to be sure that you married the right person

  1. He does sound wonderful! Mine knows snow and I are not…we don’t…I can’t drive. So he just drives me everywhere for all of winter lmao.

    (I’ve hit enough snow banks, while in the driveway, to merit this treatment and in fCt am grateful because snow driving = anxiety and hair loosing haha)

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