When braving the wild, wild world filled with toddlers and other small children, it is imperative that you speak the language of the natives. It is important to fit in and blend with these little ones so that they will accept you as one of their own. Outsiders are often ignored and shunned, so you must be one with the mini population. I have put together the following guide to translating the dialect that is spoken by the tiniest native in my part of the toddler world.
Popular yet uncommon food names:
Nnnnnnack – Fruit snacks
Ownz – Orange
Apple spider – Apple cider
Lala – Water
Weeeeios – Cheerios (preferably peanut butter flavor)
Goggle cheez – Mini Babybel (Literal translation = circle cheese)
Frequently requested TV shows and movies:
Pasoon – Tangled (Literal translation = Rapunzel)
Fia – Sofia the First
Jesse’s House – Full House
Goc – Doc McStuffins
Meeeeeee – Despicable Me
Baby – Hotel Transylvania
Ella – Cinderella
Incess Fog – The Princess and the Frog
Miscellaneous commonly used phrases:
Mama, weeeeeeee! – Mom, I want to go to the playground and swing.
Mama, lolly weez? – Mom, can I have a piece of candy from my Halloween stash?
A habu. – I love you.
Mama, tee? – Can I watch a TV show, Mom?
Down! – Please get me down because I am about to go buck wild.
Beep! – Someone should go to sleep. Maybe me, maybe you…
Shaaaaaaayyya! – Someone has something that I want to eat/play with/have. (Literal translation = share)
Mama, up! – Pick me up, mom. Because I’m about to go buck wild.
Dop it, weez! – Please stop!
Ooh ah ah! – I’d like to use your phone to play the monkey game.
Buuuuuuuuny, maket, minkie! – Someone get me my bunny, blanket and binkie. Because I’m about to go buck wild.
Beebop do it self! – I can do it myself.
Heeeeelp, weez! – Ok, I confess; I do need your help.
When translating the natives, it is important to listen carefully. They are likely to lose it on you if you make them repeat themselves more than once. If all else fails, say something like, “Oooooohhhhhh!” and then distract them with a nnnnnnnack!