Toddler-speak: A guide to essential translations

When braving the wild, wild world filled with toddlers and other small children, it is imperative that you speak the language of the natives. It is important to fit in and blend with these little ones so that they will accept you as one of their own. Outsiders are often ignored and shunned, so you must be one with the mini population. I have put together the following guide to translating the dialect that is spoken by the tiniest native in my part of the toddler world.

Popular yet uncommon food names:

Nnnnnnack – Fruit snacks

Ownz – Orange

Apple spider – Apple cider

Lala – Water

Weeeeios – Cheerios (preferably peanut butter flavor)

Goggle cheez – Mini Babybel (Literal translation = circle cheese)

Frequently requested TV shows and movies:

Pasoon – Tangled (Literal translation = Rapunzel)

Fia – Sofia the First

Jesse’s House – Full House

Goc – Doc McStuffins

Meeeeeee – Despicable Me

Baby – Hotel Transylvania

Ella – Cinderella

Incess Fog – The Princess and the Frog

Miscellaneous commonly used phrases:

Mama, weeeeeeee! – Mom, I want to go to the playground and swing.

Mama, lolly weez? – Mom, can I have a piece of candy from my Halloween stash?

A habu. – I love you.

Mama, tee? – Can I watch a TV show, Mom?

Down! – Please get me down because I am about to go buck wild.

Beep! – Someone should go to sleep. Maybe me, maybe you…

Shaaaaaaayyya! – Someone has something that I want to eat/play with/have. (Literal translation = share)

Mama, up! – Pick me up, mom. Because I’m about to go buck wild.

Dop it, weez! – Please stop!

Ooh ah ah! – I’d like to use your phone to play the monkey game.

Buuuuuuuuny, maket, minkie! – Someone get me my bunny, blanket and binkie. Because I’m about to go buck wild.

Beebop do it self! – I can do it myself.

Heeeeelp, weez! – Ok, I confess; I do need your help.

When translating the natives, it is important to listen carefully. They are likely to lose it on you if you make them repeat themselves more than once. If all else fails, say something like, “Oooooohhhhhh!” and then distract them with a nnnnnnnack!

Beebop

Now you will understand her native tongue.

10 thoughts on “Toddler-speak: A guide to essential translations

  1. Lord knows I needed this since nothing scares me more than a toddler mob and I’m about to encounter a giant one at a holiday party this weekend, where they will all be there during the always dangerous few hours past their bed time. Also, I love that your daughter already understands that the essence of Full House is John Stamos and his hair. That one is bound for great things.

    • She is a smart girl, for sure. Uncle Jesse is everything no matter what decade you are born in.
      Now, I wish you good luck because I don’t even like to be around my own kids after their bedtime. Print this translator’s guide so that you can reference it when you are out. And fill your pockets with cheerios and fruit snacks. If ish gets wild, you can throw it and run.

  2. Virtual high five on the Babybel and Jesse Katsopolis. She already knows what’s up. Also, now I’m hungry for nnnnnacks.

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