You guys! My grocery store problems are for realz. This week, we were not five minutes into our shopping experience when Little Boo barfed all over her shirt. Why, you ask? Well, she has a seriously sensitive gag reflex and has been barfing since day one. Thankfully this was not my first time at the rodeo, or whatever they say, and I knew exactly how to handle the situation. I will break it down for you, should you ever have to deal with something of this nature.
1. Remain calm and do not make eye contact with anyone. Anyone! I can only imagine how many people were staring at me. But I can literally only imagine because I did not make eye contact with anyone. I’m sure there were a million shoppers wondering what the heck I was going to do, but the point is that I really don’t know how many disapproving looks I got because I followed rule #1.
2. Revert to MacGyver Mommy mode. You know that you don’t lug that enormous bag around to improve your upper body strength. There are all kinds of things in there and it’s time to use them! I started rummaging through my bag to see what was on tap. We had crayons – nope, a few diapers – maybe?, a sling – nope, tampons – nope, wallet – nope, sunglasses – nope, a bib – hmmmmmmm?, wipes – yes!, a bag of popcorn – this is what caused the problem, binky – nope (but glad it’s accounted for), plastic monkey – nope, and a ziplock bag with plastic silverware inside – getting warmer.
3. Put your tools to use. I used the bib to clean up her shirt, then stuck it into the ziplock bag and freshened her up with a baby wipe. Good as new!
4. Resume your shopping as if nothing has happened. Try to ignore the fact that your daughter keeps yelling, “Puke!”, pointing at her shirt and laughing hysterically. I’m glad that somebody is enjoying this.
Thankfully we really didn’t have too many bumps in the road after that. I bought some meat to cook this week, but nothing that requires “trimming visible fat”, so we should be all set. Five full days until our next adventure…